Everyone knows a couple who have experienced some level of cheating. Infidelity is continuing to rise in this country and although committed relationship also continue to increase in numbers – whether marital or just committed – the statistics are alarming. One of the questions that is being heavily debated these days is how relationships – wherein cheating was a factor – are surviving and especially who leaves such relationships in greater numbers – women or men.
For the sake of clarification we are talking about how often the offended party leaves such a relationship not the offender. This debate is closely linked to the basic issue of how likely the genders are to forgive such a transgression by their partner. Statistically, women are more likely to forgive a wayward partner than are men. The caveat to this data is if the woman is considering forgiving and the man became involved romantically and not just physically. In that scenario the numbers for a woman’s rate of forgiveness are about equal to the numbers for men overall.
Men are reluctant forgivers in such situations for reasons that are somewhat different than the reasons for women. It has nothing to do with the cause of the transgression in the first place. Women stray when their emotional needs are not met; men stray when they have their ego bruised – a typical effect of being nagged or controlled.
When considering forgiveness both genders are focused – unfortunately – on issues other than the catalyst of the infidelity. If a woman believes that she was cheated on by a man who truly seeks love elsewhere she is much more unlikely to forgive him. A man who fell in love with his temporary lover after cheating started, has even less of a chance. Men rarely consider such a distinction. There are much different considerations for men. He feels the same kind of betrayal, lack of trust, and hurt that a woman does. What he also universally feels is robbed of even the chance to compete – a major blow to his warrior spirit. That, it seems, is why men are much less likely to forgive infidelity.
If we return to the original question, then, of who leaves relationships oftener when cheated on, the answer is probably not surprising: Men. Clearly this topic will be heavily debated for decades to come. It seems that men and women are no closer to finding common ground in the direction of lasting relationships than they were decades ago, despite the general increase in our knowledge about the subject.
If you want to get ex back in a relationship damaged by infidelity, or if you plan to win your ex back and it was your infidelity, your grasp of this information could be key. Regardless, you may find that trying to get your ex back might be possible with a partner who still loves you.