A reader of my articles wrote to me regarding the article I wrote entitled, “Why do men and women lie?” He said that he would be “very interested in a similar article with examples about most of the lying that women do. At least while in the initial stages of dating, girls lie so much.”

Well, I’m not as aware of how much women lie on dates as I am of how significantly men lie on dates. So I chose to write about date lying in general.

The man who wrote to me was upset about lies including “I have to go,” or “I’m really busy,” or “I’m on another call right now. I’ll call you back.”

He states that “I think that a lot of this is women’s incredibly misguided attempt to save someone’s feelings. Reject them, without actually rejecting them.”

I think this is accurate. Women have been trained to not hurt men’s feelings. They’ve been taught when the truth will hurt, then tell a “white lie.” And, when they do tell the truth, it’s often in a harsh or critical way.

I’ve frequently counseled women, who do not want to date a specific man. I tell them to say things like, “I do not feel affectionate toward you,” or “There doesn’t seem to be chemistry between us,” or “I’m not experiencing a connection with you.”

One of my clients told a man who called her for a first date, “Your energy does not feel sincere toward me. I’m not drawn to meet you mainly because of this.”

He was open to what she was stating and they ended up having a good conversation. He was appreciative of her truthfulness, and she ended up going out with him.

Since men are commonly the ones doing the calling, they are not as often put in the position of say no. My experience is that men often lie too, but in distinctive ways.

As an example, a client of mine, a psychotherapist, dated a man who told her he was in therapy. She was pleased to hear this, as personal growth was incredibly important to her.

She later discovered that he was in therapy since the court had mandated it on account of him having hit his ex-wife in the stomach at the same time she was pregnant. She found this out through the ex-wife. His avoidance of the actual facts was an attempt to wow her and control how she was feeling about him.

Men normally “lie” by coming on strong, calling often, and sending flowers to try to impress a woman. Then after the woman is “hooked”, the attention falls away. The giving wasn’t his typical way of being; he was giving to obtain.

It’s well known that lots of men know specifically what to say to a lady to melt her heart. A man at one of my 5-day intensive workshops, who had been married and addicted to being with different women, revealed how effortless it was for him to hook women in, even if they knew he was married.

“Ladies desperately need to be seen and understood. All I have to do is reflect back to the woman precisely what she wants to hear and I have her.

I can see her caring, her intellect, her creativity, her joy of life, her beauty. I can see what she has to offer that’s been squashed down. When I observe these things in her, she falls deeply in love with me.”

A number of the women in the intensive ended up being drawn to him, even knowing that he was sucking them in! The lie wasn’t what he was saying for them about themselves.

The lie was that he covertly implied that he would be readily available to continue to see, love, nurture and support all of them, when in reality he had virtually no intention of continuing to do so.

Lying to your date is frequent for men and women . Often, neither men nor women intend to “hurt” another person with the truth of that they feel.

Both men and woman can turn on the charisma at the beginning and seem to be giving and caring, only to turn out to be using the other person for their own neediness.

What is the way out of being at the opposite end of lies? Stay tuned into your own private intuition. Speak your truth. Learn to supply yourself the approval and attention that you are trying to get from another, so that you may be not so vulnerable to another person’s approval.

Do not take it personally when an individual does lie to you. Their lie is much more about them than it’s about you.

Along with everything else you encounter while on a date, lying won’t make it any easier.

The solution to this is by arming yourself with every single bit of information on what to expect on dates by checking out: speed seduction, david deangelo mystery, or david deangelo double your dating free. Save yourself the heartache and educate yourself with regards to dating.